Forgiveness

There’s much to forgive, and much to be forgiven for.

Imagined slights, outright rudeness, hate, that sideways glance two years ago in Tescos, shouting, ignored text messages, and the way you always put milk in my tea.

Then there’s pain that reverberates down the years. The sharpness piercing a soft outer shell 

Damaging the tough centre too 

The way teeth bite through a Feast lolly

Or an apricot

Surprised to meet resistance along the way. 

Things are changed and I want to say -

It’s ok with me, what you did - but how can I speak for the molecules intrinsically altered 

by the adrenaline rush of anger 

or for the neural pathways 

rerouted along the magnet path of rejection?

Forgiveness is great 

but have you tried can’t-be-arsedness?

It’s easier to gently pick up the remnants of a too-busy life

And then move off, nomad-like

Skimming the surface

Dropping memories into the water

Like forgotten receipts.

Nothing carried, nothing owed.